It's hard to realize when you don't actually understand the world. It's so easy to have it all figured out when you're on top of it, and everyone in your life loves you. But change, as it is the nature of the world, happens to everything. Not everything is perfect, and not everybody will be willing to make something you value better. It doesn't mean they're doing something wrong when they're really not hurting you, at least not intentionally, and especially when you go into the agreement knowing it's not just a possibility, but a likelihood that you will get hurt if you commit to much. But I guess that's why we play the game. Because you only score when you play, but you can't always win. At least we can try to play in the next game. Maybe I wasn't really going in enough. Maybe I've been too content to sit on the sidelines of my own life. What if I could have made plays? I'm sure I've missed some of them, a lot of them, but that's what happens when you pursue anything real hard. You miss. And then you try to make up ground, but sometimes you can be fooled and lose track of your fundamentals so easily. I need to get back in the game. Realize that I'm better than I'm letting myself perform. The only thing holding me back is my own doubts. There really isn't anything that I can't try. So why don't I go do them? Responsibilities can only consume so much of your life, and I don't really have many beyond what I choose to value, so why am I letting myself beat myself up over this. I left it all on the field. Sure I lost track of the clock, probably made a few bad calls. But dammit I was still playing through the whistle. Practice makes perfect they say, so I better get back to it. Maybe I need to work on my fundamentals a little more though, real basic stuff like physical fitness and communication skills. I can never go wrong working on those. Oh and organization. I've got to have a good strategy. At least an adaptable one, something I can respond with quick. It can't be all planned. It's gonna be the stuff that's impromptu that really gets me where I want to be. Just gotta stay sharp.
Here's to a brand new day, let's get better.