Skip to main content

Hope

I had lunch with Maddo today, which was a weird thing to do after crying myself to sleep, but when I saw her, I realized I didn't want to be with her. I didn't want what we had. What I still want is what I thought I had. But what I thought I had isn't what I lost.

What I lost was a flawed relationship, full of the problems I never knew how to deal with, many of which I wasn't willing to admit at the time.

But where I'm trying to go with this is everything I went through with her was absolutely worth it, because I was happy. I still can't really grasp yet how much it's taught me, and how much I'm still learning in reflection. And the peace I feel when I think about it like that is undeniable, and gives me a lot of hope for the next relationship I have.

Because I'm flawed, and she will be too, but I look forward to my love for her being strengthened by those flaws. But that's only going to happen if she's willing to reflect like I am, if she's willing to embrace imperfections, laugh about them, cry about them, and in the end look at them as opportunities to become a better person.

It feels good to have hope. I refuse to lose that.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

An Unapologetic Paraphrasing of Bastiat's Apology for Landed Property

This is my admittedly snarky paraphrasing of Bastiat's rambling apology on Landed Property in his Economic Harmonies . I think by translating the verbiage into modern terms, which I couldn't help but do so with a pinch of sarcasm, it becomes clear he didn't prove much of anything at all. Instead, a reader feels underwhelmed by its points and overwhelmed by the verbosity of his rather banal parables. Even though he shows what actually causes land to increase in value when he describes the improvements of a city/town growing around land, he insists that all the gained value obtained by landlords by that mechanism is actually just the fruits of their past labors, ignoring his own supposition that value comes from the service provided, in the case of Land, by a better site to occupy, not labor. If it pleases you, enjoy the following: The economists of all sorts say that landlord's charge rent for value they did not create. Most say it is unjust, but some begrudgingly ad

Our Dancing Universe: the Word and the Circle of Light.

The Word lets light and begets all things. I have composed the following in awe of the beauty and balance of our cosmos. It is based off of concepts connected by three pieces of scientific literature. The summary of each is as follows: 1. "A unifying theory of dark energy and dark matter: Negative masses and matter creation within a modified ΛCDM framework" describes how the existence of a negative mass fluid would result in the orientation and behavior of the cosmos as we observe it, removing the need for the hypothetical notions of dark matter and dark energy to describe the shapes of galaxies and the observed expansion of space-time. 2. "Negative-Mass Hydrodynamics in a Spin-Orbit–Coupled Bose-Einstein Condensate" describes how when matter gets extremely cold, approximately absolute zero, atoms condense into a collective fluid that behaves as if it has negative mass. 3. "On the origin of gravity and the laws of Newton" describes how gravity itself i

Free Land, or the ideal mean for a Location Value funded Citizen's Dividend

If we want to liberate ourselves from one another, we can buy into the idea that we can more effectively share this planet. We can do so for the purposes of maximizing human autonomy and the experience of equal liberty for every citizen of the Earth, through each of their local communities. We have the means today to voluntarily buy into a federation of neighborhood scale land trusts with a global reach. Existentially, our birthrights are the greatest lottery of all of history. We can make that a game with winning odds for everyone. The desire to be free, to choose to live how we each wish to live, is strongly felt within each of us. But those who experience it most, unfortunately, value it least. They become so accustomed to protecting or jealously expanding their own experience of it that they have created a system of enforcing their own privileges at the cost of others. I believe all people ought to choose whosoever's service they wish to enter, but I do not believe any of