Do you feel it? Or do you run away from it?
Why do you react to the awareness of your body as a sign that you need to escape to safety? What circumstances lead to that instead of the bliss of experience?
In some ways, you've always run from what you've wanted. The fear of failing at it has gotten in your way. Now, when I say always, it's not like a 100% failure rate, it's more of a matter of never conquering that instinct. It has stuck with you and continued to sporadically hold you back.
Stop running.
Face it. Grab it by the horns, and let the bull throw you wherever you land.
You'll be tougher for it, stronger for it, so satisfied by it.
You have been given a tremendous opportunity with this life you have built. Follow through. Just do what you feel, and feel what you do, but take your time. Be true to your decisions, and follow through at completing what you set out to create. Let it change as you create it. Just keep creating.
Just be you, be confidently you. There's not something wrong with you, stop worrying that there is. Except when you do, and then let that go, and keep being you.
You are loved. Love yourself too. It doesn't matter if you deserve it, just be good to yourself, kind to yourself, as you are to others, and there's nothing that need be impossible that others are able to help you make happen.