Skip to main content

Why do we worry?

We think, first and foremost, and that's the start of it. When you think, it means you have things to think about, and there are as many bad things as there are good things, but the bad things are far more likely to concern us. Good things, well, those can really only experienced to make the good feelings follow.

Thinking of good things without experiencing them is about as rich of an experience as day dreaming that we're rich. It makes for a nice dream, but coming back to reality makes such a dream more frustrating than it is pleasant. It reminds us that we are not rich once we're back to reality, so in dwelling in an unreal pleasure, we're faced with a real lack of that pleasure.

But thinking of the bad, well, that makes us face just how close our reality is to that bad. To stick with the wealth analogy, when we consider being poor, rather than being faced with relief that we're not actually poor, it seems to make us face just how close to being poor we are at the moment. Most of us live in thinly veiled life of material comfort, just one or two crises away from destitution.

I think this dichotomy of thought, from bad to good, is an evolutionary result. Life, this blessed but cruel teacher, has instilled into us that the bad can kill us and the good only brings us temporary pleasure. That's the whole role of the amygdala, to identify every possible threat, and that list grows about as fast as we can identify our surroundings. Thus fear is the foundation of our ability to persist in life. Without it, we would not perceive our threats, and they would eventually delete us from the lists of the living.

So is it possible that we can have a more balanced approach to the good and bad? I can take an optimistic approach, see how few lucky breaks lie between me and a better life, and perhaps see how resilient I have been against trials in the past. But I can't escape the feeling that this rings more hollow than the pessimistic perspective. Perhaps the brain is to blame, or maybe it's simply how our brains have been trained by the ever present existential threats of this world. Whatever the true cause, it seems clear we will never run out of things to give us worry.

But why worry about the fear? The notion that worry makes us suffer twice is particularly compelling, and gives me a sort of solace in the unpredictable. It's not merely in a devil may care sort of way, but in a more ulcerless zebra manner. I believe I can control how I respond to what I cannot control, and there's a power in such an awareness.

Worry serves us. Watts had it right, that there is a wisdom in insecurity, and it teaches us best when we accept it. So that's why we worry, because to worry is to be aware, to worry is to learn. But we don't have to let the worry control us. Instead, let's allow it to instruct us.

Popular posts from this blog

little pegasus

Marleeeey, I've got something for ya Tut tut tut tut Come here boy I wish I could call for you one more time Hear your collar clinging, running to the sound of treats Clattering on the floor along with your claws I wish I could feel your breath, hold your toes Rub your chin, brush your fur one last time I miss your weight on my chest I miss feeling paralyzed by your cuteness Commanded not to move to make the most Of the priceless moments of your touch I wish life wasn't tragic But tragedy is part of life And death is a tragedy  The comedian in all of us wants to rage  Set fire to the absurdity of it all  Why do we endure all this pain Because there's so much more than pain We also have joy and love and peace The pleasure of a back scratch is worth it all Thank you for all of your snuggles Your mischievous self interest As innocent as my children's smiles I can hear you in the rumble of the world Traffic echos, music whines, and I feel you I miss you already, my little m...

Yay Anxiety!

I gave you more than you asked to receive. I misinterpreted you sharing as a desire to feel care through the expression of understanding and thought of you. The distance between us is too broad of an expanse for you to expend the energy to keep in touch.  I get it. I don't agree with it, but I accept it. I don't need to convince you otherwise. Knowing you this briefly has taught me what a longer connection never could. Vision taught me that a thing isn't beautiful because it lasts. It's a simple truth, but it resonates. I wish it wasn't over, but I also see that it is better for me in ways that it ended so quick. What do we owe one another? You told me it amounts to nothing. I think you're right, but I think you missed that a good relationship is never owed. We choose it. It's a verb we do because we want it. It's not about debts to be served, but service freely given. Or maybe you already know that and just don't want to give any more. Thank you for...

vivacious vulnerability

vindicate the visceral vitality  of vesting in venues of virility veiling conviviality is unconvincing it can vitiate you into a victim raving knaves in waves of rage chasing their craving to feel vaunted value your views and vent verily, these are vistas of vice victory is a viper  vexing you with envy these velvet vixens offer vectors of vanity vying so close to the vest versed in caving and servility evade the temptation of toxicity veer into the vestiges of virtue by jove, evolve rebuke the vicious visions given by volumes of videos vindicate your vincibility revolt and reframe  moving and metamorphosing  just be festive and friendly loving, living, and favored