infinite individuality

I gave you more than you asked to receive. I misinterpreted you sharing as a desire to feel care through the expression of understanding and thought of you. The distance between us is too broad of an expanse for you to expend the energy to keep in touch.  I get it. I don't agree with it, but I accept it. I don't need to convince you otherwise. Knowing you this briefly has taught me what a longer connection never could. Vision taught me that a thing isn't beautiful because it lasts. It's a simple truth, but it resonates. I wish it wasn't over, but I also see that it is better for me in ways that it ended so quick. What do we owe one another? You told me it amounts to nothing. I think you're right, but I think you missed that a good relationship is never owed. We choose it. It's a verb we do because we want it. It's not about debts to be served, but service freely given. Or maybe you already know that and just don't want to give any more. Thank you for

Let go of your shame  And you'll be able to love In a way that has scared you Yet you've always wanted Don't fear your compassion Your care and kindness Scared of the scorn of those who won't  They're not stronger because they don't Just be, liberated Free yourself of your perception Don't always try to ease the anxiety Both of yourself and others Sit with it Walk with it Talk with it Accept it The greatest part of letting go Of the worry and indecision Is you never miss them Because they never change things anyway When you pause  Let yourself rest And when you can't That's okay too It's okay to feel It's okay to be too much It's okay to be exactly who You want to be You don't always have to share But it's okay to share too The ones who care for you Will want to see the real you Sharing isn't the same As sharing everything You can be understood Even when you say less But more is okay too Don't censor your heart Just becaus

Do you feel it? Or do you run away from it? Why do you react to the awareness of your body as a sign that you need to escape to safety? What circumstances lead to that instead of the bliss of experience? In some ways, you've always run from what you've wanted. The fear of failing at it has gotten in your way. Now, when I say always, it's not like a 100% failure rate, it's more of a matter of never conquering that instinct. It has stuck with you and continued to sporadically hold you back. Stop running.  Face it. Grab it by the horns, and let the bull throw you wherever you land.  You'll be tougher for it, stronger for it, so satisfied by it.  You have been given a tremendous opportunity with this life you have built. Follow through. Just do what you feel, and feel what you do, but take your time. Be true to your decisions, and follow through at completing what you set out to create. Let it change as you create it. Just keep creating.  Just be you, be confidently you

What is the rush to respond serving? The anxious desire to immediately meet expectations needs to be measured against the desire to avoid saying too much. Wait. Then reply, after you have given your thoughts the chance to settle into what you want to say. It's okay to keep the quiet part quiet. Leave some of yourself to mystery. Let someone ask before sharing. You don't always need to offer it. Pause. Let yourself think.  The interlocutor is not owed a response on any timeline when the conversation is textual and asynchronous. You also don't have to say everything. You can reply in summary without addressing all of someone's points, and they will still feel understood.  Take a break.  You are anxious. It is your tendency, your comfort zone. That is okay. But it also doesn't have to define the way you communicate. Accept how your heart and mind race without letting your mouth or fingers run that race in the desperation to feel connected. You spent a lot of time with

if you allow yourself to produce without judgment of the product the product forms without strain as the production itself releases it if you allow yourself to breathe without fighting for air the breath fills you without pain as the breath itself inspires you if you allow yourself to be without chasing after desires the desires arise organically as the desires will be if you allow yourself to think simply without overcomplicating matters the simplicity will navigate all complexities as the simplicity is the solution

What is it that I want? I think I know. Maybe it's just that simple, and that's what is so disappointing. It is what it is and, at least for now, it's out of reach. Coming to terms with that is all there is to do in the moment.  And the search for a substitute is just that. It's unfulfilling, not what I actually want, and also beyond my control. You can't make a fish bite. Perhaps if I wanted to try some different bait, but I really don't. The pond feels very empty, or more just like it's the wrong pond. I want to be able to sit with it - but it's so boring. I feel boring. In many ways, I am boring. Maybe what I'm struggling with is just sitting with me. Maybe sitting is just boring. Maybe I don't do enough that I actually find enriching. Maybe this job, the games I play, the things I read - maybe it's all just treading water and I'm not actually trying to get anywhere at all.  Do I need a destination? Can't the journey itself be enou