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Life is what you make it.

Life is what you make it. It's funny to put it so simply, but it's really hard to argue with. I would imagine the majority of my problems are things that I just don't understand. Honestly, things I think are problems might very well be good things for me to deal with. I think the fact that I feel overweight is frustrating. It's a good reminder that life is what you make it. I could be in better shape if I put the time into it. And I will. Not running due to this shoulder injury has been far more frustrating than I had anticipated. I've begun to enjoy running, perhaps it's just something about the movement, that I'm a being designed for travel that really gets my body and mind operating properly. It's funny to contemplate what defines yourself. At least I think it's a novel pursuit. Perhaps I've just never considered how important self definition is. I want to craft myself, to make myself into something that I would admire as an onlooker. Not admire in a sense as in I want to be particularly special, I just think it's important to know what makes me unique. I want to be able to wake up and seize my life. I miss having a companion. That's a tough one to deal with. My friends are great, and they are always there for me, but I miss having a partner. There's something so enjoyable about a significant other, being recognized for who you are, loved for it. It pains me to think of how much I took that for granted. How I let her drift away from me. She wanted it, but I didn't even pay enough attention to see it coming. But now I'm single, and I'm living with no one telling me what to I and honestly, it can just be so damned lonely. I have this inclination that I shouldn't need any one person, but I'm realizing that I miss that love. I just want to be valued, recognized, and embraced for being me. I don't think it's too much to ask. I really think I just needed to be more honest to myself about it. I don't have enough machismo to want to get laid 100 ways by 100 different people. Sex is great, but it's the connection beyond it that makes life worth living. I just need to remember I'm going to reap what I sow. If I put respect and love into a relationship, I'll get it back. I just have to have the strength within myself to make sure it happens on mutual terms. I gotta mad my life right. Nobody else is going to do that for me. I've never really enjoyed being alone, but I'm enjoying getting to better know myself. Life isn't perfect, but my life is what I've made it so far. And life's pretty good.

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