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My Desire, I Accept

What am I supposed to do
with you, my Desire
How do I honor you
without being dishonorableI lust
I know you know
Must I feel shame
Or am I just scaredI'm trying to be patient
but I don't want to be
I want you
nowBut I will wait
the anticipation
is enjoyable
even if you never comeThe chase
is worth the run
my heart races
I smileMy Want
do what you will
I hope we share
whatever we wish
Recent posts

Taoist Christian Anarchism

The tension between individualist and communalist anarchisms is synthesized by the often paradoxical (but to me, far more elegant) mutualist anarchisms. I believe the source of that conflict is identified in the words of the most influential being in my life, a Taoist Jew who said: "it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter into the reign of God." That particular Taoist Jew came to live for us, knowing we would kill him for it, so that He might show us The Way. He taught us how to die unto ourselves and be reborn of water and of the Spirit to best enjoy our lives.As a result of taking on the perspective He prescribed, you can live for others instead of insisting upon your right to live only for yourself. Trying to practice that perspective, you can see that the life best lived is the opposite of the often solipsistic "anarcho"-capitalist perspective. We must shift our thinking about property from "what's mine i…

Thoughts from Creativity to Dominion

I haven’t written in a while, so I’m just going to start. It’s fun trying to just get words on a page at times, even if it’s literally just writing about writing itself. I don’t know why, but I find the process soothing.  It's a creative instinct that I don’t let out enough. That’s actually the funnest part about singing in my opinion, not necessarily to sing it perfectly, but to sing it in your own way, it is fun and pleasant. I’m not sure what I want to create in my life.
I think that’s one of the biggest struggles with working a job that can be uninspiring - it reflects in me that I’m relatively uninspired. I think I also loathe putting in effort - I’m a damned lazy creature. That’s got to be correlated with my love of video games. And that’s okay, but it also needs to be balanced with pursuing more fulfilling activities. I would prefer it be more balanced. When playing the games I play, I try to play in a creative manner. I feel like I test my morals through these strategy g…

responsibility's the right response

I think the biggest problem with authoritarianism is that authority gets lazy and resorts to rule by decree and demand rather than requesting consent. As soon as society demands action rather than requesting a fulfilling of duty, it erases the character of the action required. Those who say conscription is ever justified are the only people who might deserve to be conscripted. I've been lucky enough not to have to experience war in my lifetime. I know many who have not had that luxury.But I have seen how the demands of the experience of violence and requirement of exercising violence impact the psyche. I have seen the way in which it changes the view of a man. I am infinitely grateful to him for having steered me away from that life with his form of masculinity. It was about strength and respect, rather than demands and force. He never beat me into submission, he made it clear that the best path was submission to his wiser authority. And truth be told, since his authority was exer…

prisons of personal pity

We are victims of ourselves more than anyone else. Acceptance of that truism is the first step to personal responsibility. When we act on this truth, we are able to be that only Jesus that some will ever see, because we always have the choice to act in love. Sometimes that love is tough. Sometimes it means letting go of your own desires for the sake of those you love. It doesn't mean they aren't there, but you choose not to act upon them. And when you do that, it's fascinating how it seems to bring those desires back to you.I hope it continues to work as such. Because there are plenty whom I miss. But I have to be brave. I have to move on, I have to see the beauty in the new as well as the old. But this is part of losing oneself. It means reaching out. It means playing with others. It means having the self-honesty to be myself.I know there's a whole wonderful world outside, waiting for me, full of loving, wonderful people. I just have to engage it.It's easier to fe…

My Scope of the Sky

I am selfish. But that's okay, because I am figuring out how find myself by losing myself. I have to see myself in everyone else. Not literally, pervert, just keep reading.I know only I live my life, but what I am starting to see more clearly each day is that life is much better when it is shared - it can't just be mine, it must be yours also. Having good experiences is fun and all, but they're only as good as the company you keep. And man, have I had some good company. It's why I feel most truly blessed to have my existence.Good people make our lives good. Those that we are able to share ourselves with magnify our joy. Nothing makes me happy like seeing the people I love happy. It is the pinnacle act of joy to make them happy. By finding this I have found that pursuing to serve the pleasure of others is the source of purest self pleasure. I also feel we grow an affinity for other existents as we serve them. And in those with whom we share wonderful experiences, we see…

The Glimmer of Venus

Our partnership grows firmer with each libertine embrace,
our bond is strengthened with every potent pleasure we share.
Such thoughts alone make my heart and mind race, 
contemplating the beautiful truth of our love deepening along with our desire to dare.

I've learned to be patient, not to push you or act the fool,
I've played that part all too well and it only works against me.
I'm no longer that same silly boy, mouth agape with drool,
no matter what we decide to do, I am your man completely.

But we do not behold the glimmer of Venus
with the passing of each and every night
and our coming glimpse of that celestial furnace
elucidates the brilliance of your light.

I revel in the knowledge of our common yearning,
our wish to worship the goddess of our fantasies.
The sensuous combustion of our passion burning
propels us with powerful thrust toward uncharted seas.

We both lust to fulfill our decadent dream
of adoring her Heavenly Body.
I swell with the urge to explore her as a team,
our consumm…