infinite individuality

Marleeeey, I've got something for ya Tut tut tut tut Come here boy I wish I could call for you one more time Hear your collar clinging, running to the sound of treats Clattering on the floor along with your claws I wish I could feel your breath, hold your toes Rub your chin, brush your fur one last time I miss your weight on my chest I miss feeling paralyzed by your cuteness Commanded not to move to make the most Of the priceless moments of your touch I wish life wasn't tragic But tragedy is part of life And death is a tragedy  The comedian in all of us wants to rage  Set fire to the absurdity of it all  Why do we endure all this pain Because there's so much more than pain We also have joy and love and peace The pleasure of a back scratch is worth it all Thank you for all of your snuggles Your mischievous self interest As innocent as my children's smiles I can hear you in the rumble of the world Traffic echos, music whines, and I feel you I miss you already, my little m...

Is there anywhere that I can take my mind that isn't going to feel like a pit of potential pain? Why is it that I'm constantly searching for what is wrong with me? Is that what I'm doing by writing this paragraph? I think so.  But it feels worth the inquiry. I'm struggling not to get lost in my fear. Why let the fear win? Is there really something to be afraid of here that isn't worth taking the chance? Rejection is a framing. A missed chance is a framing. There are so many alternative ways to look at a happenstance, objectivity, especially in relationships, is almost a fantasy. And sometimes that's all we get, to almost experience our fantasies. To almost enjoy what we're after. As such, I feel I am almost wanted. But perhaps that's exactly where I want to be. I want to be desired, to be seen, to be understood. I want to be wanted. But being on the edge of it, for it to be a choice, not a need - that's the space I want to create. I don't want a ...