This is my diary. I'm hoping it will help me live in a liberated way where I have nothing to hide. In some entries there are a lot of thoughts without much structure and in others it strongly constrains their construction. Regardless of form, composing my thoughts allows me to discover myself.
If you're reading this, you'll know much about me that I may never know how to tell you, so if any of the thoughts and feelings here awaken a discovery of your own, I hope you'll share it with me.
Addressing the juxtaposition of majoritarianism and horizontalism as natures of democracy, I think they are both accurate and both end up describing what's wrong with democracy as practiced. That is, systems only democratic in their vote-based system of government. Elections feel fair to us in a very simplistic way. There's nothing essentially just about making decisions about how people live by vote other than the one vote per person part of it. If we vote on how you ought to wear your hair, it doesn't change the fact that it's an intrusion (or invasion to use Benjamin Tucker's terminology). In Anarchy, State, and Utopia, Nozick creates an interesting analogy for society with a joint-stock company where we all own a share in one another that forces the reader to face what it means to vote on the decisions that shape someone else's life. Democracy, when indicating "shared power" exerted directly without State interference, is synonymous with anarchism.…
What am I supposed to do
with you, my Desire
How do I honor you
without being dishonorableI lust
I know you know
Must I feel shame
Or am I just scaredI'm trying to be patient
but I don't want to be
I want you
nowBut I will wait
even if you never comeThe chase
is worth the run
my heart races
I smileMy Want
do what you will
I hope we share
whatever we wish
The tension between individualist and communalist anarchisms is synthesized by the often paradoxical (but to me, far more elegant) mutualist anarchisms. I believe the source of that conflict is identified in the words of the most influential being in my life, a Taoist Jew who said: "it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter into the reign of God." That particular Taoist Jew came to live for us, knowing we would kill him for it, so that He might show us The Way. He taught us how to die unto ourselves and be reborn of water and of the Spirit to best enjoy our lives.As a result of taking on the perspective He prescribed, you can live for others instead of insisting upon your right to live only for yourself. Trying to practice that perspective, you can see that the life best lived is the opposite of the often solipsistic "anarcho"-capitalist perspective. We must shift our thinking about property from "what's mine i…
I haven’t written in a while, so I’m just going to start. It’s fun trying to just get words on a page at times, even if it’s literally just writing about writing itself. I don’t know why, but I find the process soothing. It's a creative instinct that I don’t let out enough. That’s actually the funnest part about singing in my opinion, not necessarily to sing it perfectly, but to sing it in your own way, it is fun and pleasant. I’m not sure what I want to create in my life.
I think that’s one of the biggest struggles with working a job that can be uninspiring - it reflects in me that I’m relatively uninspired. I think I also loathe putting in effort - I’m a damned lazy creature. That’s got to be correlated with my love of video games. And that’s okay, but it also needs to be balanced with pursuing more fulfilling activities. I would prefer it be more balanced. When playing the games I play, I try to play in a creative manner. I feel like I test my morals through these strategy g…