It's not what I want. No, if I could have my way, I would not be here. I know exactly where I would go if I could.
And that's the funny thing about what I'm feeling. I know what I want. Just a chance. To see what this is. I want to feel what I'm feeling. I've never found so much joy in my fear. I've never smiled with these tears in my eyes.
I've never held a gaze so long, just to stay in the moment.
I've been searching for myself for a long time now. I think I've found him. At least as much of him as there is to be found for now. I know I'm capable. I care for others and it's returned. I love who I am. Getting to know myself has been wonderful.
I'm sure I'll change. Everything changes, but I hope to improve myself. Desperately. I can be better. I can be stronger. I can be more kind. All I have to do is try. I really do think it's that simple.